 |
|
wThe World is my Oyster |
|
|
 |
I've forgotten what it feels like to be normal.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wSaturday, April 26, 2003 |
|
|
|
"ONLY HUMAN?!?!"
What is one thing i hate? I hate when people try to justify their conscious wrong-doings by hiding under the obviously specious notion that humans are no better than animals. The only conscious activity animals have is "instinct"; all that animals can do is reflexively react to situations. They have no morals, no selfish or manipulative will...only instinctive reactions to situations they encounter. However, humans have been blessed with forethought, with morals, and for that they have no right to insult the entire human species by calling their wrongful behavior a simple result of " human nature". If you done wrong, take your damn responsibility for it rather than hiding under some excuse, and not a good one at that.
"only human"......oh please.
"Only human" should be a positive thing...it shouldn't even include "only" ; it should be "human", and it should represent what man is able to accomplish above and beyond simple instinctive behavior. Man is able to accomplish great things for others, and thus "human nature" shouldnt have to have such a negative connotation, one that represents "man's" insuppresable and utterly "human" inability to control himself.
its a perverted world we live in these days.....=T there are endless, empty excuses for endless wrongdoings, and somehow, it seems to be getting worse each day.
Why do i say all this? Because today, i reiterate yet again why men and women are just absolutely UNABLE to attain a lasting level of friendship with oneanother. Feelings get in the way, and those darn things ruin everything.
At the start of the semester, i met this really cool guy. He's smart and funny, i guess in general a nice guy, and he had the potential to be a great friend, friend being all it could ever be. And no, its not one of those bitterness-towards-guys setting, i just wasnt attracted to him plain and simple. After a couple weeks, he started coming on a bit strong. I started feeling uncomfortable, and sat him down and told him that he was a great guy and if he'd let me, i'd like to be friends, but nothing more. At which he felt the need to redeem himself and arrogantly retorted.." what, you thought i liked you? the Ice Queen? please. Give me some credit, you aint all that." Hmm....so i think, yay ! problem solved ! he doesnt like me, so now we can be on our way to friendship...i mean, he's a cool guy. So things were cool ( i thought ) ....but the pretending starts to wear thin. Example?
LoLiPoP xP: so why didnt you come to class?
s liik: my entire family had another emotional breakdown
LoLiPoP xP: =(
LoLiPoP xP: are you ok?
LoLiPoP xP: do you want to talk?
s liik: definitely ok, but even if i wasn't, i can't imagine you care.
s liik: i'd love to talk, if it's with you.
LoLiPoP xP: =P not after that snide remark, i dont.
LoLiPoP xP: do you honestly think i dont care about you at all ?
s liik: i haven't ever given you a reason to, and you snub me whenever i try to hang out with you, so i can't see why you would care.
s liik: any rebuttals?
LoLiPoP xP: "snub"?
s liik: _
snub ( P ) Pronunciation Key (snb)
tr.v. snubbed, snub·bing, snubs
To ignore or behave coldly toward; slight.
To dismiss, turn down, or frustrate the expectations of.
LoLiPoP xP: i know what it means, damnit. But you think i ignore you? treat you coldly?!
LoLiPoP xP: i dont see where you'd get this from
LoLiPoP xP: i say hi to you everytime i see you
LoLiPoP xP: i IM you whenever i'm online
LoLiPoP xP: we talk, i listen, we walk, i help with homework....
LoLiPoP xP: and you say i behave coldly?
s liik: well, i don't know.
s liik: i used to be enthusiastic to speak, see, walk with you and all, i used to have a grand time.
s liik: but then you started looking down on me or something, and treating me so badly...
LoLiPoP xP: looking down on you like how ?
s liik: well, you just treat me like you would anybody else. I thought i meant more to you than that...don't i? then i saw you walking with that guy..
s liik: and i don't dig the two standards; the difference makes me curious
LoLiPoP xP: well...i dont know what to tell you really.
LoLiPoP xP: i honestly dont see how you would see so much into the whole thing, you said you were cool with being friends...you said you didnt even like me ...
s liik: do me a favor
LoLiPoP xP: .....
s liik: meet me in fucking outer space and all
s liik: we'll be friends there.
s liik: okay?
LoLiPoP xP: whatever.
s liik: sorry, then.
s liik: heh
s liik: ignore me, i'm the asshole.
s liik: sorry.
s liik: take care.
s liik: i have to go
s liik: can i call sometime?
LoLiPoP xP: no.
s liik: gotcha. take care
if youre gonna say something to hurt somebody because youre spiteful, at least be sure thats exactly what you want. He then proceeds to contact me with his apologies, his requests to be friends again, to please try to be friends again, he's sorry, please start over...but i'm so damn tired of giving second chances, repeatedly, obviously not worth it...........and his excuse for his angry retort?
" You have to understand, i'm only human".....
oh brother. What do i need to be friends with somebody like THAT for? i'll learn my cool digital camera-ing techniques elsewhere, thank you very much.
anywho, today was a great day !
I took my dad to the hospital to see Dr. Nagami ( infectious disease specialist) for his routine check-up, and this woman is just so lovable. She's not one of those "beat-around-the-bush" type people...she tells you straight. Well, she told my dad there really wasnt anything any medicine can do for his pain now...all that's left is that he must keep himself busy to keep his mind off the pain *my poor dad =( * . Well, she was great ...heh.. my dad has an official doctors order to do volunteer work....the thought of it made me laugh. Because in all the years that i've known my father, life was always about HIM, always about what people were doing, or not doing for that matter, for HIM, HIM HIM HIM. Thats all there ever was to him. It'll be interesting to see this man have to do volunteer work ( i doubt he'll do it though, and he'll be in for an ass-whoopin from Dr. Nagami). Heh.
I saw Deonta again today =) !! although it was kind of awkward talking to him because my dad was peering over my shoulder telling me in korean never to get involved with black men...and while i tried to tell him that i only know him because of all the times i came to visit HIM in the hospital, he didnt believe me ! hah. Thats what korean parents do. Get afraid of black men around their daughters.
after that, i went to pick up the other half to go feed the ducks. And i saw the most WONDERFUL, well the TWO MOST WONDERFUL, well THREE.......well...lets just say i saw so many wonderful things today. number ONE ! the little yellow baby duckies squeaking around and swimming around everywhere...quite possibly the most ADORABLE thing i've ever seen !!!!! Number TWO ! there are turtles in the duck pond too !!! and they're so cute, the way they stick their heads out of the water... Number THREE !! This little boy michael kept following us around and telling us about the fish he saw and where the baby ducks are, and everytime he saw one, he'd come and get us and ask us to go see the baby ducks with him... Number FOUR !!! There was this adorable little boy with raindrops for eyes who had a little baby bunny that he was carrying around in this little wicker basket...and he let me pet it ! and the bunny's name was CUTEY !!! hahaha....Number FIVE !!! i saw 5 fully grown black men make fools of themselves trying to get our attention. Lemme tell you his CLASSIC pick up line...its so hilarious " i dont see no ring on your finger, you aint married or wit no-one...why dont you gi--" so i say " i have a boyfriend"( does that kind of lie constitute as a sin? i mean...its circumstantial and all......xP ) but WHAT DOES HE COME BACK WITH?! " oh thats koo i got a baby-mama but i aint wit her, we can git together.."
OoOh, you impregnated a girl, then wasnt responsible enough to stick around, and now youre proud of it????
wow, that changes everything. Now i want you, i need you, oh baby oh baby... ( heh, from 10 things i hate about you...*thanks tracy*)
haha...i dunno, all in all it was quite comical.
now there are much more interesting things that happened today....but for now, i am so durn srippy. =) as if you didnt do enough reading on me today...oh you honey face you. =) heehee.....nightynight !
posted by
Laura at 12:34 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wFriday, April 25, 2003 |
|
|
|
Last night while i was writing in my diary, i pondered a career in writing......i like writing, i do. Then i thought about one of my favorite books ( Patti's Pearls) and i thought i wanted to become an inspirational, motivational writer. Then i thought about HOW MANY people write motivational books, and the thought of all that competition killed my motivation. Boy, what a paradox that would be.....a motivational writer who has no motivation for motivational writing because there is just too much motivation out there.
that made my bread ( brain+head ) hurt. Heh. =)
But i do love writing...so i'm trying to do it every chance i get....hopefully it'll take me somewhere because my mother already projects that " people who study sociology dont end up anywhere besides helping sociopaths..and if you spend too much time with them, you go crazy like them"... go figure. She's a korean mom. =T heh. But i'm happy about my Sociology major. I'd love to do communications first and foremost....
maybe i will.
It seems nothing will make her happy besides becoming a doctor...
but i decided i'm just gonna do what i like, because i know if i like it, i'll be good with it...and i'll work hard not to " become just like your brother always begging me for money..."
heck, i work hard now, dont i? i aint broke...=) i even give yong-dohn to older brother. So she shouldnt have to worry....( yet, she always will )
i just had one of those surprise sneezes that just creep up on you and explode before you even have time to cover your mouth, and i sprinkled my computer monitor with my little spits...oOoooh its all rainbow colored and prittttty =)
posted by
Laura at 12:15 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
wThursday, April 24, 2003 |
|
|
|
the greatest thing about having a small, wonderful digital camera ( thanks momma ! ) is that you can take it around with you anywhere....
and when life does those odd, short, and awe-inspiring things that just make your soul go "wooooooahhh !!" ( or when you run into crooked-nosed Owen Wilson on Rodeo Dr.) you'll never have to say " boy, i wish i had a camera!!"
like when....the sun hits the leaves just right and they glisten in the wind...( haha, especially good while blasting Vivaldi while your neighboring cars look like they're ready to dial 911 )
or when the sky is so fiercely blue and the pink sun just shoots straight through the loosely knit clouds...
or when its overcast and the sun starts to peek out of the side of them and all of a sudden this "aaahhhh" effect happens
or when your lovely little kid is covertly pickin his nose....
or when your lovely little kid falls asleep in your lap and their eyes are twittering away in dreamland....
or when somebody is riiiiiight aboouuuut to sneeze...
or when the shadows of branches hit the pavement just right and create all these squiggly lines...
or when you make the one you love laugh so hard and his smile is just so lovely you wish you could store it forever...
or when an ugly looking possum is carrying its young on its back and drunkedly wanders into your yard...
or when migrating ducks decide to find solace in your blue swimming pool....
or when you see ducks lost in a parking lot and it makes for a great comical snapshot...
or when a lovely girl is walking by and her hair is so decidedly sweeping her face....
or when the clouds decide to hide the tops of mountains...
or when your friend has ice cream cups that look like boobies if you take the stand off the bottom and you decide to stuff them in your shirt and dance like madonna....
or when the sun hits ants just right and they look like monsters on the pavement...
or when your friend falls down over the grass while getting the mail....
or when the guy you pissed off because you parked too close to his baby starts yelling so fast that pieces of foamy spit start ejaculating all over the place....( yes, i CHOSE to use that word )
or when cherry blossoms fall to the ground in masses ( we gotta go to Balboa park again...=) !!
or when you see a potentially great photo in something as odd as several pieces of multicolored gum sticking on a pole....( to me it was cool, ok?)
or other such instances. =)
heh. i feel so fobby.
because before i got into my car, the sunset was just so lovely i stepped onto the hood of my car to climb onto the top of my car to take this picture of the sunset because it was all pink and smeared because of the clouds that were passing by....and it just looks like somebody just took a big piece of pink cotton candy and spread it all over the mountaintop. =) YUMMY !!!
of course, the security guard had to embarass me and ask me to get down off of the top of MY OWN CAR, mind you. =( booooo =(
I'd like to consider.....scratch that....
i'd like to accomplish a career in photography sometime in my life....=) Its so much fun...
posted by
Laura at 6:47 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
w |
|
|
|
Did you ever do something you thought would be funny, but it wasnt really?
I did something not so nice just now. =T
Bad Tally mark on my Christianity. *shwoop*
There is a fraternity house 2 doors down and while there is ample parking on the other side of the cul de sac, i just dont understand why everybody wants to park in front of my house. =( ALL THE TIME !
i think that i should have the right to park in front of my house no? I dont want to park at the end of the stupid street and have to walk all the way to my house carrying all my books and backpack and mail and tutoring stuff, especially when the likelihood of my making it all the way to my house without my face having a date with the floor is very slim.......and even more especially when its cold !
And this stupid fruity mustang ( well, not really, i was just upset ) is ALWAYS parked in front on my house !!!! so.......
I parked riiiiiiight behind him......i pulled up all ProFesSioNaLLy close to it....literally leaving exactly ONE inch between my front license plate and the shiny red bumper of his fashionista mustang. At the moment, i thought it was......not funny.....but....i guess justified because.....i wanted to park in front of my OWN house, damnit !
I picked up my mail and made my way into my house, until i see this guy in his shorts and wifebeater stooping all low examining his precious little baby. Then he gets angry like.....anger management problems angry. He starts yelling and cursing....( i didnt even touch his car...he was complaining cuz my car was threatening his baby's "personal space" ) anywho, so he starts yelling to this guy in his car thats driving by...." look at this jerk, parked riiiiiiight up behind me..."
Well, its not like he didnt have MORE than enough room to exit out the front !!!
but...
yeah. I felt like a jerk. =(
but serves him right ! next time, park on the other freakin side. ! yeah ! he deserved it !
not really. =(
i did bad today. =( I'm gonna get struck by lightning.
Heh. =) oh well.
I didnt "sin" necessarily......Just invaded precious little baby's ( oh brother ) personal space. =) bLeh.
no more thinking . Ü Time for dancing before tutoring boogery kids !
posted by
Laura at 2:55 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|