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wWednesday, April 16, 2003



I woke up this morning to the same odd dream, but this time, with no oatmeal but a very elaborate smorgasbord of different foodstuffs.
yeah.
odd.

The weather was so nice this morning, so i put on them tappin shoes again...heh....but i remembered to take it OUTSIDE so as not to have an unfortunate meeting with my brother's fists.

The house next door is being sold and the young realtor was outback sitting on the diving board, and he saw the whole thing.
I think i'd be embarassed, but i wasnt really.

Until he told me he saw me tapdancing probably 3 times now....which made me feel kind of icky like he was spying on me or something.
haha..later that day he put a flyer in my *new* mailbox with the stats for the house next door along with his personal business card. It was cute because under property assets he wrote "nice girl who likes to tap dance next door makes for quite a daily morning show with your coffee".

It was cute....might have worked.... but for some reason, when a guy drives around a Benz it takes away a lot of face value from his personality. Or maybe i'm just making an ass outta u and me....

anyway, today was a good day, i sold another book on half.com and so i treated myself to some giving money to broke un-employed La Bamba boy. HEH. =( sad.

I went to the post office to pick up my mail because a couple weeks ago, yet another tiny little woman decided to buy a huge sport utility vehicle that she didnt know how to drive and said woman knocked over my titanium mailbox whilst trying to pick up her kid from school. The worst part is, i saw it all, and couldnt believe my eyes. I figured since she saw me see her, she'd stop and come up with some kind of compensation for the death of my mailbox. But instead, she just drove away as fast as she could. I tell you, i couldnt believe the whole thing ! and all i could get on her was that her car was bought at Beverly Hills Cadillac. BOO !! =( and then my mailman refused to deliver mail to the dead mailbox lying on the ground, and hence, i am at the post office picking it up.

Well, there was a big white envelope. =) From Santa Barbara. Not the school of my choice, but its still great knowing that i got in.( three out of four so far....boy oh boy.... i cant wait for just ONE more ! ) Heh. At which an anonymous stranger at the post office congratulated me with an obligatory hug. Haha....i dunno, it was so dorky and sweet. And when he hugged me, it was so momentous that his glasses slid off his nose and he pushed em back up with his pointer finger, and he chuckled...haha....he asked if he could help me take my mail back to my car, and chuckled some more. At which the whole thing was just so cute, I wanted to bite him or something.

haha...yeah, i know, i'm such a dork.

anyways, so that was a good part of my day.

The other funny part of my day came when my vietnamese friend called me and told me about this really fine girl that he likes. She's a model, singer, actress, nude model etc. So i was like..." that's great, ( not really, but i humored him ) who is she?" and he said " you've probably seen her. She's that really foine mystery girl wearing the Go Red's tube top at all the soccer games....i think her name is Harisu or something".......

Boy thats sad.

I told him he's been liking a man-woman.

At which he got very angry and hung up on me. He wouldnt believe me...

But then he looked her up online and was bitterly disappointed. Not to mention.....very disturbed.

Poor him.

I wonder what that must be like.... lusting over a woman.....who used to be a man.

Which.....really shouldnt have been funny to me, but it was very very entertaining. HEEHEE =)

Does that tarnish my new Christianity? i sure hope not ! cuz either way i think of it, its so funny ! sad...yes, but .....hilarious !

anywho....now that i dont have any work for the rest of the week...spring break truly begins !
i might be going to san diego to visit charlie the tuna and do some campus- apartment touring with the other half .....woohoo !



(p.s. I stayed away from the toolbox today. =) my conclusion on that whole topic = Pretending, no matter for what reason, is still pretending. Pretending isn't being true to yourself. Hence, prentending, any kind, even if you think its for the better, is bad. Case closed. =)


posted by Laura at 9:43 PM


wTuesday, April 15, 2003


Today.....

YAY for spring break !!

It was a very odd morning. I slept late last night after watching movies ( again ) with the lazy, nocturnal brother. Then I had the weirdest dream. In it, i started dating this new guy whose personality was like Kronk ( from The Emperor's New Groove ) we were at the park playing when all of a sudden my ex just suddenly *poof* appeared out of nowhere. He kept tugging on my skirt, saying " please, will you make me some oatmeal? i really want some oatmeal". So i was like, " okay, just wait right here". And then Kronk got mad at me but i went to make the oatmeal anyway cuz it seemed like he really wanted it. So i made it, and i made it all cute with slices of strawberries and stuff. When i brought it back, Kronk was shining a flashlight in his face asking him where he came from. I came back and then Kronk hid the flashlight behind his back. Well, my dream-self didnt see it, but i, the conscious self, saw it. Anywho, i put the oatmeal down in front of him and then Kronk got all mad at me, so he turned away. And then my ex picked up the bowl of steaming oatmeal like it smelled so good and he was gonna eat it, but then he just poured it all over my head. So Kronk felt sorry that he got mad at me, and he ran back and started combing the oatmeal out of my hair and rubbing ice on my head. And the whole time, my ex just kept on laughing all....evil like MUHAHAHA !!!! and then i woke up.

Well, it was kind of disturbing in an odd sort of way, but so very much entertaining. So i kind of felt funky in the morning and lazily laid in bed for about an hour while i read Bridget Jones Diary. ( fun fun fun )

Then i got all spiffed up and went to teeny bopper heaven. Yes, i went to Magic Mountain. hehe. We had to take new pictures for our season passes, and i was all moving around while the kid took my picture, and it looks so horrible. You can see my face, and then there's like a whole cheek added to the sides of it, like a big cake or something. hahahaha, at least i didnt spell my name wrong, VAMIE !
There were so many people and the park was really stinky, so we only rode a few rides and went home.

Then i played Pictionary and came up with some very fun alternatives to otherwise obvious sayings, actions, objects. Hahaha...like Speakersetphone. AND triplet bigheaded piglet ears. AND singing in the steplightningthunderscream. AND cut and yarn, glue and Vikingcanass ( ARK- ANS- Ass) hahaha

hahaha...well, it was lots of fun.

i cant wait till tomoro.

Do you ever have those days where you cant wait till its tomoro so you cant sleep so you kind of stay up the whole night and when the morning finally comes you get all excited but youre too tired by then?

I used to have those.....heh, and today is one of them.

Any day without school is a good day. =)
The END



posted by Laura at 9:54 PM


w


the TAPE is coming back to haunt me !!!....

When the other half would come to pick me up, i'd always run out to the car so as she wouldnt have to wait for me to take my sweet time all the way to the car. And i'd always be greeted by her hearty laughter. When i would ask all those times why she's laughing, she'd just say " They've got to go".

I thought about it for a while, and FINALLY i get what it means !!

on American Idol's best and worst, there's this girl running around, singing horribly, being honestly very annoying, jumping around all *unsupported* and everyone agreed she had to go....but Simon's exact words were "They've got to go".

hah.

boo. So now when she picks me up, i have to walk extra slow, so she wont say i have "boobily jigs". hahaha

well, the reason for the yearning for tape again is that for some odd reason, weird people around here think that if youre an asian girl and you dont have extremely tiny ta-ta's , that gives them the right to ask you " where you got yours done". In my most recent experience, the young man said " its all right, you can tell me, i'm a scout, i work in the industry." The industry of what? of distorting reality to all feminine youth so that you can proceed to make them feel bad about their natural and each unique-ly beautiful bodies? Goodness gracious. And whats worse is he just wouldnt believe me when i said they were real. He kept trying to make me admit that i got them done, so much so that i just told him i did to get him off my back.

I really hate that.

I really do.

It seems that boobies just cause so much unnecessary attention. The tape is an empowering device....=T its just too bad it kind of tears up my skin.

heh. Which reminds me, i know it sounds so incredibly dorky, but i loved the type of people who approached me in those two weeks that i used to tape. They were just kind of....dorky guys....which i love....which i guess makes me a dork as well. I was talking to a friend of mine and he said that boobies are like #3 in first impressions, even to "nice" boys. Which is odd cuz its not like girls ( the ones i know, for that matter ) look at a guy's crotch and think " wow, i bet he's got a GREAT dingdong under there". So i guess i'm missing the tape because i got to take away the "boobie" element from the first impression, and it really changed the types of guys who came up to me....from sleazy to dorky. =)

I dunno, i'm just one big dork.

i know the tape is bad....but....

i'm just so tired of all this hype around breasts.

look at how much more people like Christina Aguilera now......=T shows how much breasts can do for a great voice and great talent even before breasts and a slutty look.

but i guess the whole taping thing is being untrue to myself, cuz all i would essentially be doing is pretending to be something else.

but pretending to be something better?

haha...i've thought myself far and away from where i was going with this.

i do that sometimes...a lot...

its time for prayer....and staying away from the tool box. =)




posted by Laura at 9:50 PM


wMonday, April 14, 2003


Just Call me Missa BojangLes

For some odd reason, i was in a very tappy mood this morning. I just.....felt so good in the morning with the beautiful yellow sun creeping into my bedroom and cool crisp air that i felt like tap dancing. Then, i didnt want to go outside in the cool crisp air cuz the tap tap tap just sounds so much better on the white marble floor. =) So i busted out my old tappin shoes and my favorite Sinatra CD and started tap tap tapping away.

That is.....until my brother attacked me with his pillow.....

and fists. =( BOO !

apparently, he doesnt like my tapping at 8 in the morning.

What a lazy bum. He never wakes up on time and always keeps me up at night cuz he's not tired enough to fall asleep. Then he makes me watch all these corny movies from his dorky past, where he had the most extremest of phases. Like this one time...he had this CraZy "La Bamba" phase.He built this really corny guitar out of woodplanks that we had left over when we built our clubhouse. Then he painted it blue and green with this streak of yellow on it, and he gelled his hair into this corny behive thing, and !!! worst of all, he pulled his socks all the way up and cuffed his jeans...hahaha ! anyway...it was fun watching it with him i guess..

So yesterday, i went to church.

It was sort of odd, and while Tracy teased me that i was so "popular", it was only because everybody remembered me from when i was a kid and was like..." YAY! youre back? where have you been? youre gonna keep coming now?"

So i think i'm going to keep coming now. =)

My pastor is the coolest. He looks like....a better-looking Chris Rock. Well, in his sermon, he asked if there was anyone in the crowd today that wanted to accept Jesus....like truly accept him. I knew that when i did it as a kid, i didnt know what i was doing. So i wanted to go up there...but i started getting scared...like i wasn't worthy of it, or something. I dunno....the power of the church just overwhelms me sometimes. There's just so much love and majesty that it frightens me.

Pastor Charles called out again and was waiting....and while my little brain was saying " go, go go lauraaaaa !!!" my legs were saying " iyaJeeWowoOY" and they just kind of...froze. The other half looked at me with these encouraging eyes...but she also understood that i was afraid. At which, at moments like these, i realize why her being my friend isnt just a coincidence...it was a true blessing from God.

When Pastor Charles was praying for Joey, ( this guy that went up there to accept Jesus in front of the whole church cuz he was gonna get baptized later ) the prayer was just....so beautiful....so...touching. Like....at that instance, i knew that i wanted THAT kind of life, the kind of life where i am made whole by none other than the holy spirit. And then my emotions got the best of me and i started crying.

I thought i composed myself pretty well...and after the sermon and the baptism i PLANNED on having a nice, short conversation with Pastor Charles about how i wanted to know God. So there i was...suddenly feeling very small and humbled.... and when Pastor Charles put his arm around me i started crying all over again ! boy !! i couldnt stop. =( I told him about my journey thusfar with God....

as a child i went to church, never knowing what it truly was about.
then at church, i felt orphaned and out of place because everyone assumed i was adopted or something because i went to church with tracy and nobody knew my family or why they didnt go to church.
but i continued going anyway, sort of getting stronger.
then my brother died, and my faith crumbled.
then i thought there was an absence of justness and righteousness in the world because it seemed like all the evil people i knew at the time were so prosperous despite all their evil trickery.
then i decided to just walk away from God, cuz i figured i wasnt one of the blessed children that he looked after.
But then i realized...he DID, always have, does, Love me....i just never knew how to let Him.
So here i am...wanting to know God once again, and for real this time....because i had been lost for so long.


I felt very embarassed after saying all of that. Like.....why was i dumb to have walked so far away? and having gotten lost?

But it was cool because Pastor Charles told me he was there...that he was a naughty boy in college. And that he once stood at the crossroads that i was at, and felt that same hollowness and longing to be full. =) At which he prayed for me, and i invited Jesus to live in my heart forever. And it was such a lovely image..heh...i imagined a little Jesus moving into my heart, and even if i told him to get out, he'd stick like glue.

I think the members of our IMC ( international mission church ) are so awesome. Because we've got black people, mexican people, white people, korean people....its just great. Heh. After our prayer, Pastor Charles told EVERYONE of my little decision and everyone bombarded me with hugs and kisses....boy, it was just great.
I feel like a WHOLE person now....like FINALLY i've found that missing part of me that ran away when my brother died.

After, i played with Tracy and Big Sam and Little Sam and her sister and her angry egotist dog, who peed on his sweater.
heh.
Then, me and tracy ate a yummy meal at Rincome where the waitresses are less than pleasant.

don't tempt me now.........i'm a good CHRISTIAN girl now. =) heehee !

Aiyeee...today i have to teach paul and hanna and then lydia all in one day !!! four hours of boogery kids !!!!
i think i'll fit in a little more tapping before i go. =)


posted by Laura at 11:56 AM