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          |  |  | wThe World is my Oyster |  |   
          |  |  | I've forgotten what it feels like to be normal. 
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          |  |  | wThursday, April 03, 2003 |  |   
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 "I gotta find peace of mind
 I know another cord...
 I gotta find peace of mind
 See, this what that voice in your head says
 When you try to get peace of mind...
 I gotta find peace of mind, I gotta find peace of mind
 He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
 ...please help me forget about him
 He takes all my energy, trapped in my memory
 Constantly holding me, constantly holding me
 I need to tell you all, all the pain he's caused, mmmm
 I need to tell I'm, I'm undone because, mmmm
 He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
 To finally be in love, and know the real meaning of
 A lasting relationship, not based on ownership
 I trust every part of you, cuz all that I... All that you say you do
 You love me despite myself, sometimes I fight myself
 I just can't believe that you, would have anything to do
 With someone so insecure, someone so immature
 Oh you inspire me, to be the higher me
 You made my desire pure, you made my desire pure
 Just tell me what to say, I can't find the words to say
 Please don't be mad with me, I have no identity
 All that I've known is gone, all I was building on
 I don't wanna walk with you, how do I talk to you
 Touch my mouth with your hands, touch my mouth with your hands
 Oh I wanna understand, the meaning of your embrace
 I know now I have to face, the temptations of my past
 Please don't let me disgrace, where my devotion lays
 Now that I know the truth, now that it's no excuse
 Keeping me from your love, what was I thinking of?
 Holding me from your love, what was I thinking of?
 You are my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
 
 He says it's impossible, but I know it's possible
 He says it's improbable, but I know it's tangeable
 He says it's not grabbable, but I know it's haveable
 Cuz anything's possible, oh anything is possible
 Please come free my mind, please come meet my mind
 Can you see my mind, oh
 Won't you come free my mind?
 Oh I know it's possible
 
 Anything, anything, anything, anything, anything,
 Oh free! Free, free, free your mind
 Free, free your mind... free, free your mind
 Free, free, free, free your mind
 Oh, it's so possible, oh it's so possible
 I'm telling you it's possible, I'm telling you it's possible
 Free, free... free, free... free, free... get free now
 Free, free... free, free, free, free... free, free
 You're my peace of mind, that old me is left behind
 You're my peace of mind, you're my peace of mind
 He's my peace of mind, he's my peace of mind
 What a joy it is to be alive
 To get another chance, yeah
 Everyday's another chance
 To get it right this time
 Everyday's another chance
 Oh what a merciful, merciful, merciful God"
 
 - Lauryn Hill
 
 Gotta love that Lauryn Hill. So now i shall retreat to my soul - searching. Do not miss me too much. I shall return, when i dont hate myself so much and i've learned more...
 
 
 
 
 
 posted by 
           Laura at 10:38 PM
 
 
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          |  |  | wWednesday, April 02, 2003 |  |   
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 My Learnings today.
 1) Sometimes, kids just need to be held and hugged. No talking necessary. Heh. Today was my baby Lydia's birthday, and while she was so happy the first hour, she got all sad the second. At which she just crawled into my lap and rested her beautiful little head on my shoulder and wrapped her adorable little arms around my neck and just ....sat. I asked her whats wrong, but i believe her exact words were " mmrmmRrrmmmnnnommrr" heh. But then after about 30 minutes, she felt better and proceeded to make me so happy in ways i never thought possible.
 2) when hungry and waiting an hour for a smog check, sharing a handful of peanut m&m's really means a whole lot. =)
 3) one friendly smile passed your way can warm your heart throughout the day. ( oOohoo ! Im a poet ! )
 4) Thinking is good. Thinking is very good. I was just mad at myself. Maybe i still am, but not as much.
 5) Thinking on concepts relative to the class is necessary.....but thinking on non-relative concepts is so much more fun. Like thinking that the occasional "sex" and "penis" thrown into an Ethnic Minorities lecture really brightens things up. Then proceeding to wish somebody had Tourettes syndrome...and the really profane kind too would definitely spice things up. ( heh, yui, we are not very realistic)
 6) Time to reflect on yourself might be painful, but absolutely necessary.
 
 Maybe i shall follow up on #6 later on. For now, i need more time to myself...heh...to reflect on..........my developmental character as a modern social run-away.....
 
 P.S. I just recently watched Ocean's Eleven again. Although i try to formulate where the bags come from, I just dont know where the marked bags that go into the white van come from if the only ones down there are Amazing, Danny and Matt Damon ( i forget his characters name ) . I just dont know where they got those bags to send up the elevator for Terry's guys to chase when the FBI friends arrive there after the bags have already been sent. Where did they get the bags? Have i just discovered a blooper? I dont think so...but WHERE did they get those bags? I know they didnt carry it down there.....Hmmm...
 
 
 
 posted by 
           Laura at 11:39 PM
 
 
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          |  |  | wTuesday, April 01, 2003 |  |   
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 Ü
 "Let's take it nice and easy
 It's gonna be so easy
 For us to fall in love
 
 Hey baby what's your hurry
 Relax and don't you worry
 We're gonna fall in love
 
 We're on the road to romance - that's safe to say
 But let's make all the stops along the way
 
 The problem now of course is
 To simply hold your horses
 To rush would be a crime
 'Cause nice and easy does it every time"
 =)<33
 
 Two things I learned today :
 1) Kids are painfully honest.
 example : my little baby Lydia has a cold. I was correcting her homework when i hear her sniffle and she wipes her nose. Then, i hear her lips     smacking. Disgusted,  I look at her, and before i say anything, she says, " I know you think i ate my booger water, but i didnt". So i look at her and say " so what did you eat?" and she says " okay, so i ate my booger water, and i know you think its yucky, but i can't help it ! to me its so tasty ! "   At which i pondered when exactly do human beings learn how to lie out of social etiquette....and then i pondered what a tragic blessing it is.
 
 2) When dining at restaurants, you should either a) wear a turtle  neck or b) tuck your napkin into your shirt because my waiter friend told me thats the prime opportunity to look down a girl's shirt. =P
 
 
 posted by 
           Laura at 10:49 PM
 
 
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          |  |  | wSunday, March 30, 2003 |  |   
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 I'm TWO decades OLD ! (almost ! )
 
 YAYAYAYAYAYAY !!
 i keep getting older, but i dont seem to be getter smarter.
 Hmmm....
 But yes, i had a great time last night ! What are some things i learned last night?
 
 Italian Food in a Loud Family style setting = get ready for fun !
 When Jen continues to play with meatballs = she's substituting for that missing  part of her life...*ahem*
 Jen = a very fobby ssullung weirdo who doesnt know how to spell Scotland.
 Jenny = german-engineered precision UBER-bowler
 Laura = weakling that really sucks at bowling.
 That guy at sport center = forgot to wear his pants and the rest of his clothes for that matter, and apparent was NOT very cold
 Alice = on the verge of death who spared her last hours to celebrate my birthday and wasnt even able to eat
 Tracy = has a very menacing bark
 Yui = bony butt and likes to hug car doors.
 Yui = unusually large breasts pressed up against you when 6 full grown adults decide to pile into one car tickles when she breathes.
 Jen and Jenny = are trance music freaks
 Jenny = has such long arms that she likes to wave around and clap through the moonroof and window and shout "YEAHHH THE LAKERS WON" to every unsuspecting passerby.
 Button Pants =  not a good decision to wear when dining at large italian restaurant because of fear that said button shall pop off and take somebody's eye out.
 Buca's Caesar Salad = does not include chicken, but apparently, has false chicken in the form of croutons
 Buca's Caesar Salad = is Greek food, according to Alice
 Buca's Caesar Salad = is apparently Roman, not because Caesar was roman, but because they use Romaine lettuce, according to Jen.
 Buca's raw slices or Garlic = make for very offensive speech, literally.
 Yui, Jenn, Tracy, Alice and Jenny + Me = One helluva great time.
 
 =) yay to me.
 
 
 
 posted by 
           Laura at 7:45 PM
 
 
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