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wThe World is my Oyster |
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I've forgotten what it feels like to be normal.
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wWednesday, October 23, 2002 |
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Can a Leopard change his spots?
Hello fellow bloggers, i'm sure you missed me much. =)
As always, a lot of interesting events have blessed my life once again, either through trials and tribulations, or pure and simple joy. This morning, ( like a lot of mornings) i came to school an extra 30 minutes early so i wouldnt have to catfight for a parking spot. I love that time that i get, because i go to visit 2 of my favorite elderly friends who work in the cafeteria. I have been ridiculed more than once for making friends with these people, but why? They are people all the same, definitely wiser, because they've lived through the trials and tribulations that we have only been told of.
In light of a recent blessing that was borne from one of the most hardest and most painful tribulation in my life, i went to talk to them. Now, i dont share the details, so i just told a very terse version of my story - That rather inauspicious relationship i had just barely started to get over had come back to haunt me.....but surprisingly, amiably so. I told them that this person who had hurt me so much in the past had changed, turned around, and wants me back in his life. And to that, the only thing they had to say to me was...." Can a leopard change his spots, babygirl? If you can honestly answer that question, you'll know what we're thinking..."
They done nearly gave me a heart attack.
Was i making the same mistake i had made so many times before? The mistakes i went to them crying about? its like they say, he hurts you once, its his fault....hurts you twice, its your fault. Wow, so that means it was my fault, the 3rd, 4th, 5th times.....thats a lot of weight to carry.
I've never been good at thinking with my brain, because somehow, my emotions lead the way. My heart's ferrari wins the race against my brain's feeble bicycle of logic ( i took that from another paper i wrote =) So i had to look at it objectively.
Can a leopard change his spots? The obvious answer to that is no. BUT ! a leopard sustains wounds, gets dirty.....then what does he do? He cleans himself...and starts anew.
The only thing i can do now, with out hurting him or myself, is hope. Hope that he is a newer, cleaner leopard....and if not, i just might have to kill him. And i already have his permission for that.
posted by
Laura at 6:56 PM
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